Schedule a “date night” with each of your kids … let them pick their favorite spot or activity … then enjoy your time focusing on them!

I would wager (if I were a betting man) that one of your kids’ most understood love languages is spending time together. The younger they are the more they want to hang out with dad. So cherish the days … they grow up fast and soon their friends will be intruding on your family time.

May I challenge you to get into the habit of dating your kids. Yeah, I am the father of 2 sons … and we just called it boys night out.  My guys loved to go to the local burger place and eat together … or we would go and watch a sporting event.  The key ingredient is quality one on one time with dad.  I let them choose the activity so they couldn’t say “boorriinng!”  All I had to do was work hard at focusing all of my attention on them.

But I learned a very powerful lesson … small talk leads to significant talk … we had a number of life impacting conversations during these specal times.

So plan a date with your daughter or a guys night out with your son … but get in the habit of spending time together!

If you want your children to walk honorably don’t clear the stones from their paths, but teach them to walk firmly over them – A Bronte

Our children will encounter “rocks” on the trail of life that will cause them to stumble or fall. As much as we want to protect them from these falls they will happen.

 As dads, we want to be there when they fall to help them back up and get them back on the trail. But more importantly we want to teach them how to negotiate these rocky roads …  how to step over, around, or on top of the rocks they will encounter, so they can get to their destinations intact.

“A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be…” ~ Frank Howard Clark

We want our kids to have a better life than we’ve had … and since they learn so much about life by watching us it is important that we be what we want our children to be … and then challenge them to the next level.

Let’s keep our expectations high yet not oppressive. Unrealistic expectations will do more to ruin our kids than to help them.

Economist tell us that our children will not be as “well of” as we are … so we need to invest a better currency into the lives of our kids … character, morals and values.

“A man’s worth is measured by how he parents his children.” ~ L. Rogers

Parenting is a direct measure of who we be as men and fathers.  What we value will be reflected in our kids.  They will live what we value … what we consider worthy, our faith and values.  Our ultimate worth then is not what we leave them in terms of a legacy of cash … but a legacy of character.

I’ve personally learned the value of having mentors in my life … people who’ve been where I want to be … done what I want to do … experienced and lived through what I am going through.   I have also been mentored by authors … people who have been willing to share their experiences and knowledge with me via print.  

My hope is that this will become an interactive blog … a space where you are more than welcome to make comments … ask questions … talk to each other.   I will try to kick the ball off by posting a quote and some thoughts … and we’ll see what happens.

I don’t claim to have all, if any, of the answers.  We will mentor each other. The ancient writer said it well … there is wisdom in the midst of many “counselors” (meaning advisors or mentors)!

We minimize the disappointments we create in the lives of our children when we over promise and under deliver. We know it is bad for business in our work world … we need to understand it is devastating for our family world!

Let’s be faithful … and keep our promises to our wives and children. Their future faith and family depend on our faithfulness!

Being a great father is like shaving.  No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. ~Reed Markham

I like this quote because it stresses that being a dad is an every day task!  We are dads everyday whether we want to be or not.  But it also suggests that the days we don’t shave well … we can do better the next day (cleaning up the stubble or should I say stumble).  Kids are usually more than willing to forgive and cuddle up to a clean shaven dad.

So if you had a good dad day today … it all starts over again tomorrow. One day does not a father make. Let’s have more good dad days than poor ones!

Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad.   ~Jack Baker

Some thoughts:

Every dad (does that mean any dad?)  if he takes the time …

What an encouraging word … every dad can become a better father!  Hope for all of us on the fathering journey … we can be better dads than our fathers were … but only when we understand the powerful condition of this quote … IF he takes the time …  which leads  some pointed questions:

• Do I want to be a better dad?
• Am I too busy to be a better dad?
• Am I willing to invest the time and energy to think and work at becoming a better dad?
• Is being a better dad enough of a priority in my life to sacrifice the time?

… if he takes the time to reflect on fatherhood … we don’t reflect on too much anymore … we want it revealed now.  What are some good questions to ask to reflect on becoming a better father?

• Who is the best father you know … what makes you say he is the best dad?
• What characteristics of our Heavenly Father do we need to build into our fathering?
• What would my kids say would make me a better dad?

Lastly, it isn’t enough to just think about being a better dad … we need to implement the things we reflect upon and build them into our fathering lifestyles.

• How do I put these things I have reflected on into my life?
• When do I start?
• Who will I ask to help me?

Your comments and questions welcomed here …

Welcome to Mentordad … we started by tweeting but felt that some of those little 140 character gems had to be amplified … so that is the purpose of this space … to expound on the pebble of truth within each twittering tweet.